Inside: Follow along as I describe my weird and wonderful antics of being a Columbus foodie.
I thought it would be fun to share some of my recent antics as a “Columbus foodie” with you. Before I get started, I feel the need to explain that the very term “foodie” gives me a bit of a pause. There’s a distinct disdain that follows that word. One part elitist, one part snobby, with hints of arrogance thrown in. Wikipedia defines it as not quite “as elitist as a gourmet, but more discriminating than a glutton.”
Since I pretty much enjoy and eat anything, perhaps “glutton” would have been the better choice. That being said, I do have preferences when it comes to food, and it’s these preferences that I wanted to share with you today.
Don’t worry, I’m giving you full permission to make fun of my crazy antics! Enjoy!
The One About My Dealer – Columbus Foodie Antic #1
I felt myself getting antsy. I’m easily distracted and today was a day I had to keep my eye on my watch. You see, I had an important meeting and I couldn’t be late.
A coworker stopped by my desk and asked if I’d like to go to the sushi place across from our building for lunch, which normally is a serious YES….but not today.
“I can’t,” I told her, glancing again at my watch. “I have a meeting with my dealer soon.”
Her eyebrow arched as she peered at me questioningly, pausing for a solid 5 seconds before she busted out in laughter. “No way. A drug dealer? You?!”
Ok, that’s fair.
Generally, I’m a rule follower. I obey traffic laws. I didn’t drink until I was 21. I’ve never even held a cigarette in my hand, and I try really hard to stay away from drugs….but I did take a handful of Tylenol round the clock after my c-section. (My ob-gyn thought I was nuts, but ibuprofen MESSES UP your gut biome…for real!)
“No. Not a DRUG dealer. An….ice cream dealer.”
She looked at me like I was insane, so I quickly tried to explain. “You know, like, he posts lists of what’s available, and then I text him what I want, and he texts me a time and place and lets me know how much, and then I just meet him so I can grab stuff.”
She burst out laughing again, stopping only to ask me what was wrong with picking up some Breyer’s at Kroger like normal people.
“Look! You just don’t understand. It’s ridiculously delicious, and hand-crafted in small batches, and you can TOTALLY taste the love and care that goes into each flavor. Breyer’s isn’t, even, like, on the same playing field.”
(*I would like the record to show that I still enjoy and consume Breyer’s.)
“Right. You’re crazy, but I already knew that. Let me see this ‘ice cream Master Craftsman’s’ website.”
“Um…well, I don’t think he has one, but he has an Insta……I can hook you up!!!”
As she walked away, I glanced again at my watch. It was time to meet my Master Craftsman Ice Cream Dealer.
Pro Tip: I highly recommend bringing THIS along when it’s time to meet your dealer!
NEW FLAVOR ALERT!!! (Yes, another new one!). Say Hello to Cinnamon Almond Coffee Cake. It’s a cinnamon and almond base with toasted almonds, streusel crumbs and a cinnamon brown sugar swirl. I’ve got another new flavor in the works for tomorrow! And always remember this: I know that you know you want some! 😉(…and you know that I know that you know…)
My fancy-pants friends can also sample his wares at select restaurants around the city, but you’ll have to be hard core and follow Indulgence Ice Cream on Instagram to find out where….muwahaha!
Interested to know what was in my stash? I scored Blueberry Crisp, Coffee & Donuts, Lemon Ricotta with Blueberry, and Lemon Marscapone with Bourbon Cherries.
The One About the Egg Club – Columbus Foodie Antic #2
I am also in an egg club. When I first wrote about it HERE, I had a bunch of people reach out to me for more details, so I thought it would be fun to go give you more info.
So here’s how it goes down:
Every week, one of the 20 or so members of my egg club takes a turn to drive to a fabulous, organic, Amish farm near Fredricktown. Once there, they load up their car with roughly 50 dozen eggs, and drive back down to share the bounty with club members.
These are not your average eggs. With luscious, MANGO-colored yolks, spotted brown shells, and fresh-from-the-farm taste, they are totally worth the drive.
Pastured, free-range happy chickens delivering LIQUID GOLD eggs? Sign me up. Here’s the coolest part – I get to walk around the farm and shake the hand that feeds me and my family. I get to support a farmer who creates a product that I absolutely adore AND I get to save major cash.
At $2 a dozen, these eggs are a STEAL!
Compared to the grocery store, where eggs of this quality often go for $6 a dozen, it’s no doubt a frugal venture.
Members happily pay $2.50 a dozen, and the extra 50 cents is collected into a communal pot to offset the gas costs of whomever is driving down that week to pick up eggs.
There’s also more subtle benefits. I appreciate the opportunity to take my city-slickin’ 6 year old to an actual farm. It’s important for her to meet and interact with people that have world views and a religion that is different from ours. Plus, EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. she comes home from the farm, she’s excited to rake leaves, help shovel snow, or pull weeds in the garden because she wants to have some “farm chores” of her own. I would even do this just for the farm experience, but those eggs are pretty amazing.
You’ll never want to go back to industrial eggs again.
They add such a richness and gorgeous color to your dishes.
Also, side note, but THIS is the best seasoning ever for hard boiled eggs!
One sprinkle, and it’s the best snack ever!
The One About Secret Menus – Columbus Foodie Antic #3
I also have a thing for secret menus, ESPECIALLY at Asian restaurants. I didn’t realize that secret menus were a thing until I was a freshman in college, and I had a friend who invited to me to go grab some lunch. She was Chinese, and I asked her to take me to an authentic Chinese place.
She mentioned a spot that I was quite familiar with, but I was surprised as I had never really thought it was authentic. The menu had the usual things like almond boneless chicken and General Tso’s chicken. She looked at me, puzzled, and then a look of understanding washed over her.
“Ohhhhh. No. Not that menu. The Chinese menu. You have to ask for the CHINESE menu!”
“Oh. I didn’t realize that was even an option.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of a secret. They don’t tell you about it unless you’re Chinese, but if you ask, they’ll always bring it out.”
I had to laugh a bit, because it made me think of going to Indian restaurants with my mom. She never ordered anything on menu and it used to absolutely mortify me.
She’d tell the waiter she’d like some spicy goat, while I hissed at her that GOAT was not ON THE MENU.
Why couldn’t she just order the chicken like everyone else?
Her answer? “It’s an Indian restaurant, of course they have goat. It’s just a secret.”
So now, I always ask about the secret menu. Sometimes the menus aren’t in English, and that’s when the fun starts. Sometimes my husband and I will just point to something that has a cool looking script and wait to be surprised. Other times, we’ll ask the waiter what they recommend. The items that come out are usually delicious and ALWAYS an adventure!
This isn’t just a Columbus foodie thing, either.
Here’s a great guide that walks you through how to order from the secret menu!
Thanks for allowing me the chance to give you a sneak peek into my weird antics around Columbus. Are you a fellow Columbus foodie? I’d love to hear from you – are there any particular food-related things you do or foodie secrets you have to share?
2 thoughts on “Ice Cream Dealers, Egg Clubs, and Secret Menus – The Weird and Wonderful Antics of a Columbus Foodie”
Hahahaha this post is amazing
I love that you get me.