“Is that man a German?” The old monk asked me, peering at my husband who was wandering outside the monastery.
“Um…..” my mind started to do that thing that writers’ minds often do when they are presented with semantics. I guess the logical engineer’s answer would be a solid “No, he’s not a German.” But I don’t have an engineer’s mind and instead the nuances of identity floated around in my head.
My husband was born to American parents, on US soil. He’s first generation on his mother’s side, who was born in Germany to an English mother and a German father. His first (and last) names are German, and he speaks German.
So my writer’s mind settled on the answer of “yes….sort of.”
The old monk smiled, his deep voice chuckling, and said “Very good, I would very much like to meet that German.”
But let me back up.
My husband and I had just sold all of our things, quit our jobs, and purchased one-way tickets to Asia. We were running away from our old boring lives, and towards everything that we loved: adventure, good food, exciting moments, and foreign lands. We weren’t so much searching for meaning to our lives, as we were looking for a way to feel alive.
We had been wandering around Hong Kong and Singapore for a few weeks and when we found a cheap flight to Malaysia, we hopped on a plane.
In our hostel, we met a fellow traveler who was ready to move on. He told us about the biggest temple in Malaysia and how amazing it was. He told us it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and we’d be stupid to miss it. My husband and I tend to be free spirits when we travel and we’re non-planners by nature. See, we believe travel changes you, not when you get to your final destination, but through the actual journey.
For us, it’s never about checking famous sites off our list, but rather, the people we meet and the experiences we share.
But, our fellow traveler, and his stories of the magnificent temple were compelling. We decided we’d head to the temple the next morning.
My husband flipped through a dog-eared guide book in the lobby and figured out where the temple was located. We asked at the front desk the best way for us to get there, and armed with hard to read directions and bus stops scribbled on a piece of paper, we were off in search of this magical temple.
3 hours later, in the relentless mid-afternoon Malaysian sun, there we were. Sun-burned, exhausted, and cranky. With no temple in sight. We had taken the busses we thought we needed to take. We had walked around for a few miles. We had passed a dozen temples. But not THE temple.
We had a choice to make.
Should we continue on, in search of this amazing spot? I mean, what makes a temple more amazing than another? The size? The artwork in construction? The opinions of others? I was cranky and beginning to feel like giving up. A temple is a temple is a temple, right? I decided to just go into the next temple that we found, look around, and call it a day. My husband was less willing to give up – after all we had spent a solid 3 hours searching for this place. As we discussed our options, we both got annoyed. I was starting to feel as if all I wanted was to just return to the hostel.
We both reluctantly compromised on just looking around the next temple we came across and calling it a day.
About half mile up the road, we spotted a small temple. It was quiet, and as we peered into the garden gates, looked as if just a few locals were quietly meditating or walking around. I looked at my husband and he nodded.
Good enough.
Since we weren’t particularly happy with one another, we gave each other a bit of space as we walked around. He admired the gardens, and the architecture, and I ducked inside to give myself a break from the hot sun.
This is when the old monk spotted me and asked me if my husband was a German.
When he told me he’d like to speak to my husband, I was puzzled as to why, but decided to go with it and went to fetch him.
“Um, so the monk inside, he wants to talk to you.” I told him.
“What? Why?” He asked me incredulously. “What did you say to him?”
“Nothing. Well, I said you were German.”
“What? Why?! I’m American! You lied to a monk?!” (Clearly, my husband has the mind of an engineer…)
“I don’t know, I got confused.”
“About me being American?!”
“Ugh, just come in and talk to him.”
“In German?”
“I don’t know….”
So my husband glared at me and walked into the monastery. I followed him, dying to see what happened next.
Turned out, the monk was a fan of German soccer and cream puffs. And after he talked about these things he loved, he asked us about our life. Our desires. What we liked about our trip and about Malaysia. We talked about the meaning of life. We talked about Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and how people are mostly good. We talked about history, culture, art and being young and in love.
After about 45 minutes, the monk said he was tired and would like to retire to his room. Afterwards, one of his aids came up to us and asked us if we knew who he was. We didn’t. Turns out – he was a Gelong (fully ordained Tibetan monk) and the highest ranking Gelong in the country. His aid told us that his followers sometimes wait months for a 5-10 minute audience with him and explained we were incredibly fortunate to have spent so much time talking to him.
This. This is why you travel. Not to check things off a bucket list, but to experience life. If we had just gone on, determined to check another item off a checklist of “must see” places, we never would have had this deeply meaningful interaction. We’ve long forgotten why the original temple sounded so compelling, but will always hold this experience dear. Welcome to the magic of traveling with open arms. 
Congrats on your recent decision to be nomads! God speed and enjoy the journey!
Beautifully written, you have a great voice! I felt like I was there experiencing this with you and you’ve certainly inspired me to up my writing game. Love the humour in this as well!
Thank you so much!
Very good article, the way as you define each and every things are very interesting,can’t stop until i read full article as i started.Very nice..
You are very brave and bold! Cannot wait to hear about your new adventures.
Great article, what an amazing adventure !
That is so cool!! Sounds like an awesome guy. Also, you sound really comical. Love it!
haha thanks!
Wow, you and your husband are so brave to quit your jobs and buy one way tickets. I’m inspired!!
so happy to have inspired you! I love reading that – it’s why I started to blog.
This is such a lovely story and a wonderful experience you will obviously always remember. Our travel philosophy is very similar. We much more enjoy being in a place than doing things in a place.
Thank you!
Wow! What a great read 🙂 Now this is the kind of adventure I used to dream of once upon a time… maybe one day, when the kids are older and have left home I might just buy a one way ticket somewhere too. Beautiful! Cant wait to read more 🙂
Thank you! I agree – we did this all before we had children. Now that we have a little one, it’s a bit more challenging to quit everything and run off. But I guess we have the summers off to explore. I hope you get to go on an awesome adventure someday soon.
This is such a lovely story! It just goes to show you how stopping to listen can create the most memorable travel experiences.
That’s amazing! You never know who you meet or who you get to talk to. Did monk help you guys reconcile?
hahaha yes!
I loved this post!
Travelling is all about the experiences, the culture, the traditions,the curiosity, the people you meet along the journey… It should not be the materialistic experience people are turning it into!
Hopefully this post will be a reminder to all travellers 😉
Yay, so happy you liked the post! I agree – travel is so much better when you just let yourself enjoy the journey.
You’re so right, this is exactly why you travel! You can tick things off lists, but nothing will compare to those magical moments that you can’t quite put into words
this story is another testament that we’re always exactly at the right place at the right time. always. it might not make sense immediately but in retrospect, everything makes sense perfectly. like how a fellow traveler has influenced your decision to visit a must-see, only to not see it and have a different yet meaningful experience. this life, this world, and its magic is truly amazing!
I totally agree – such a beautiful way of thinking about it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Wow that is a courageous move and I applaud you. I recently did this as well. Never regretted my decision to quit the rat race
I loved loved loved reading this!! I generally love reading such stories, not just directions to famous (or offbeat) landmarks. Well directions are useful, but this is exactly what I look for when I want to just kick back ad enjoy some good travel writing. I seriously really loved this piece 😀
…and when I learned why the monk was so obsessed with Germany I just burst out laughing 😀
First of all – thank you so much for you kind words! You made my day! And yes, I agree- I remember thinking it was hilarious! It made him seem totally normal and not at all like my preconceived notion of what a monk should be like, lol!
Exactly, especially reading that he was a celebrity monk. It removed this aura of holiness and just made become what he really is in the end – a man. Who loves Bundesliga apparently 😀
Hey Malini,
Thanks for sharing this story! Wow. I know exactly what you mean – I always prefer to travel deeper rather than tick off all the places on a list (though sometimes the list gives a good starting point!). This reminds me of a conversation I had with an Uber driver in Bali. My journey was over a hour and we ended up talking about all kinds of things, then the topics turned very philosophical as we talked about Hinduism and reincarnation.
This is why I love travel – the amazing people you meet and the incredible stories they have.
Thanks for reminding me of that!
Oh I just love this. Thank you for sharing your story! Isn’t it just amazing – these experiences?
I find these types of encounters so hard to explain to some of my friends who think travel should be limited to a resort in Mexico where you never leave the hotel. There is a world of wonder out there – we just have to be open in accepting it.
This is such a lovely story, and you tell it so beautifully 🙂
I love the story! 😍 and you sure know how to write 😄👍🏻
thank you for the kind words 🙂
this was a beautiful story absolutely loved it. and those are exactly the experiences that we are looking for when we travel.
This is incredible!! In a world of listicles and guides, it’s refreshing to read something like this to remind ourselves of why we really travel. Beautifully written, too!
yes – that’s always my #1 goal when writing a post. Thank you for your kind words!!