Inside: Want to Know if He’s the One? Travel Together
I often tell the story of how I fell in love with my husband on a dance floor. It’s a great story about how on our first date, he invited me out to a Spanish club.
And then taught me how to salsa, merengue, and move to reggaeton music.
Never in my life had I met someone so confident on a dance floor. And it was magnetic.
But if I’m being honest, it was more fascination and fun than true “love.”
Love came a few months later, on a rugged trip through India. This trip was the ultimate relationship test.
We were still new in our relationship, only 3 months in. He had done some traveling, mainly to Germany to visit family, and had spent time on a Mexican resort, but nothing like India.
I wasn’t sure how he’d feel traveling in such an extreme manner but he jumped at the chance.
Years later, he confided that at the time he didn’t know if our relationship would last, but would never forgive himself if he skipped out on a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
This trip, and the dozens that followed, allowed me to get to know him in a way that would not have been possible otherwise. So here’s my advice – want to know if he’s the one? Travel together.
Here are 4 ways traveling together is the ultimate relationship test.
Traveling together gives you insight into who someone really is.
Especially in those moments that just sort of happen to you. That you can’t plan for. (aka “Real Life”) Lost baggage. A hostel adventure with a naked man. A delayed flight and a missed connection.
When these things happen, as they inevitably do both on the road and in your life – does he react with humor and a shrug of his shoulder? A quick laugh and then some creative problem-solving?
Or does a small bump in the road mean you are in for a full-fledged tantrum? Dark, brooding moods, and a ruined night?
On the other hand, how does she react when presented with a bit of serendipity?
Will she stop to admire the breathtaking beauty of a sunset over the ocean and take it into her soul? Or will she remind you that you have reservations you made a month ago and no time to dawdle?
When life gives us those unexpected moments – a favorite song playing in a restaurant where no one else is dancing, losing a job she already hates, a last minute invitation to spend time with friends – will she embrace the opportunity with open arms?
You’ll see each other at your very worst.
Adventuring across the world together is exciting, but it also puts you outside of your comfort zone. Exhausted, sun-burnt, flea-bitten and with a raging case of “Delhi-belly” is far from being sexy. But if he loves you at your worst, then he deserves you at your best.
Travel allows you to confront the major points of marital incompatibility head on.
Things like handling your finances while budgeting for a trip. Or dealing with the stress of being outside your comfort zone. And learning HOW and WHEN to compromise. If you can successfully navigate these situations on the road, you can be confident in your ability to do so in real life.
Through our travels, we got a glimpse of what our life would be like together. I can’t think of greater way to test your compatibility than by taking a big trip as a couple. So, you’re thinking they may be the one? Then before you buy that ring, make sure you buy a plane ticket.
This post is a great reminder. In the happy haze of planning everything seems like it will be great. Real life has a tendency of getting in the way. Well-written.
Thank you for your kind words 🙂
Great post, I agree that travelling together is an ultimate post however our first travel was well 6 months into a relationship . I personally need to know someone very well to go away with even friends. You are such a cute couple. Thanks for sharing Hun and have a fantastic weekend xx
This is such a sweet post! I totally agree. My uncle told me you need to know them for 4 seasons, had a fight, and gone on a trip before you can consider getting married. Followed his advice and things worked out pretty well for me!
Great advice!! Thank you for sharing it…I’ll have to remember that.
I totally agree with this. My husband and I travelled together a fair bit before we got married and it worked for us.
Love this advice! After a decade of being married, extended travel can definitely uncover subtleties in each other. I think I’ll start sharing my favorite statement from this: “…before you buy that ring, make sure you buy a plane ticket.”
We’ve been married for a decade this year! It goes by quick 🙂
I love this. Our true selves really are revealed when we travel. It should be a requirement for any couple!
Yes! I totally agree 🙂
And so my husband has become my travel buddy! I am so fortunate that this is so!
Having traveled with my husband many times, I can definitely attest to this! Traveling together is the true test of a relationship, lol. There are times I have wanted to choke him & times that I was in awe of him. 🙂
We’re definitely a traveling couple; we figured if we could do a 400-mile round trip by car in one day and a cross-country drive to get me to Ohio together, we pretty much were meant for each other.
love it! Road trips can be miserable if you’re with the wrong person.
You’ve made some great points about traveling and partnership and what it will teach you about yourself and your relationship. Good advice to travel first and propose later. 😉
Hi Mal,
Great thoughtful post 🙂 Always a delight to read your blog posts because you out so much though into them. This is no exception. The title drew me in (talk about titles that grab you by the eyeballs and suck you in a like a Dyson vacuum cleaner 🙂 )
Travel does bring out the best and worst in people. So it can be a good test!
Best regards,
Pedro
Pedro – thank you so much! I always wonder when I put these thoughts out into the big world wide web if anyone is reading and your comment made me so happy. Thanks for reading and for your sweet words 🙂
My partner and I started dating a month before I left to go travel solo. A couple weeks into my trip he joined and to traveled together for another five months. He’s the one that keeps me sane. Traveling with someone is certainly one way to get to know them well, especially when you have dehli belly!
I love this story. Thank you so much for sharing 🙂
I 100% agree! Love this <3
Couldn’t agree more. My boyfriend and I not only travel together, but live and work together abroad. You definitely find out very quickly how compatible you are when you are with someone that much, seeing them at their worst, their best and having to share experiences good and bad.
I suppose it does help a great deal validate many rather important things in a future marriage. Looking back, there were warning signs in travel that foreshadowed the future stresses of my former marriage.
Awesome blog! I like it a lot! Thanks and keep up the great work!
So true! However, it kind of worked the other way round with my ex-boyfriend though, we were super travel-compatible, but not that compatible in everyday life haha!:D Great post! Being travel-compatible is so awesome!!
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